Thoughts
by pollenflug
Summary: things that come to your mind when you are dying, Gokudera, sorry no pairing


Hi, this is my first fan fiction (at all). But I already plan on submitting more Reborn! related stories later... at least one which is going to be a little longer.

Anyway, this is a rather general, introspective piece but I guess I should warn you that it might involve character death.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn! nor any of it's Charakters,**** they belong to Amano Akira. **

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**Thoughts**

Gokudera Hayato was a lot of things. He was an expert in mid-range attacks as well es hiding dynamite in various places of his body. He has been called a genius a couple of times, whatever that meant. For many people he was just a noisy trouble maker, for others the best friend one could imagine; for some he was both. But above all he was the Vongola Decimo's loyal right-hand man.

Gokudera didn't exactly remember what day he decided to become that most trusted person. Was it the day Sawada Tsunayoshi saved his life by rescuing him from his own explosives? Or was it way earlier, when that strangely small hitman Reborn asked him to join the single biggest and most influential Mafia Famiglia; the day he became a Vongola?

At that time he didn't know what it was that the Arcobaleno saw in him, the potential he himself had already forgotten after countless rejections; after having been called so many painful things that he almost believed them to be the truth. But he was glad and thankful for the chance.

_The chance_, he thought, wondering if the infant would be disappointed by him not using it.

When you are starring at the ceiling, motionless lying in a puddle of your own dark red blood, a lot of things cross your mind.

Strange things. Unexpected things.

He knew he was dying. He knew it from the amount of blood covering the wooden panels beneath him. He knew it from the haziness that began corrupting his thoughts. He knew it.

At first, after he got hit by that darn bullet he felt the anger immediately rushing through his veins. Why hadn't he seen it coming? How could he let that happen? He wanted to grab his gun and kill that bastard who had shot him. He wanted to... but he couldn't. He couldn't move. His own body had betrayed him, falling to the ground like a sack of potatoes.

The world around him grew silent and dull as if somebody covered his senses with a thick dark blanket, too heavy for him to remove.

He panicked. For a moment all he could feel was pure, unbearable panic clenching his thorax. But each lapsing second took a bit of the panic away.

And after a while all that was left was regret.

Reborn had given him a chance; a chance nobody had been willing to grant him before. He knew how precious that was. He also knew that Sawada Tsunayoshi had been the first person in his life he was willing to die for. The one person who was able to change his life for the better by just being there, trusting him, valuing him. _What a heavy burden to put on those trim shoulders?_,Gokudera thought. Did he really believe that The Tenth alone could patch what he himself had been eager to tear apart for so long? How naïve.

He wondered if they would miss him. All the times he had put his life on the line for the Famiglia, for the Tenth, he had never thought about that. And now, that he finally managed to die under such pathetic circumstances he realized.

He had friends.

There were people who needed him, who cared for him, more family than Famiglia; much more real and honest than mafia; even that foolish Baseball idiot.

When his hands went numb and every hopeless breath seemed further away than the last one, he realized what life really was about.

It wasn't about the Famiglia. It wasn't about strength or usefulness. It wasn't even about being the Vongola Decimo's loyal right hand man. All those things didn't actually matter.

All the time he, the supposed genius, had been so fucking stupid.

He was loved.

And now he was dying, simple as that.

_Too late_ he thought.

**Fin**

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Btw, feedback is very wellcome. After all I want to improve and English is not my first language.


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